I have been very lucky in my life. I have been lucky that I was born into a family who knew how to look after me, who made me feel safe and valued. I was lucky to have a dad who believed in me, no matter what. I was lucky to have a mum who made me feel secure in who I was.
In this process of waiting to become a mum myself (more on this soon) I have had a fantastic ally in my mother. When we mentioned adoption to her, a few years back, she was enthusiastic and supportive from day 1. It was what I needed to hear.
What I start to realise more and more is that my mum is already a grandma. She loves these kids already, she has their pictures in her wallet and all over her house.
One evening, not long ago, I went to see her. She was sitting by the fire, knitting. "It's for him," she said to me. It was a little blanket. It now sits finished on her sofa.
I mentioned to my mum how I was looking for a black doll for her, but that I hadn't found one that I liked enough. Here is what I found some days later...