Tuesday 11 March 2014

Limbo



As we had a week off last week, it was our plan to start re-organising our home for the arrival of the little ones. 

A bit of background. We were matched back in late September. We visited them in late October. He was 4 months, she was around 3 years old. We fell in love. 

Local offices closed, preventing new referrals from moving onto court dates. Then local offices opened. Then MOWA (the Minsitry of Women's Affairs) changed several bits of the process of adoption, making the process less prone to corruption. Great! Also longer. Not so great. 

We have been waiting for a court date. Others who got referrals around the same time had their court dates last week. Turns out there's a discrepancy between what MOWA wanted on one of the papers and what the local authorities wrote. More waiting. And more uncertainty. 

We are tired. We are worried about both of them. Yes, we know that adoption is never predictable, but the last five months of not knowing what to expect have been tough. I am not sure what I should be doing, and what I shouldn't. 

Should I start getting their room ready? Should I be buying things, borrowing from friends (who keep offering)? How much of my reluctance to prepare is simply my own fear, the deep part of my brain that remains superstitious, that keeps connecting unconnected events and reads causality in random happenings? 

We did nothing. The room that will become their bedroom is still our office. A million books still occupy it. (It really does feel like a million books...) I keep asking myself daily whether we should be moving them, whether I should get the cot from this friend, whether I should start child-proofing the house. 

Yet I don't. We wait...

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